This is a snippet of an Actual Conversation I Really Had, with Michelle.
Michelle: Hey, I have something really important to tell you!
Me: What?
Michelle: It's about that thing we always end up talking about!!!
Me: DISHWASHERS?!?!
Michelle: YES!!!!11
I am totally swimming in invitations to Gmail by now. If you want an invite, go ahead and email me or drop me a comment. I don't care if you're a total stranger, and I want nothing in return. I just want to spread some of the Gmail love and joy.
Any takers?
Sasha: My tummy hurts.
Me: Can you show me where?
Sasha: No.
Me: Sasha, show me where your tummy hurts.
Sasha, patiently, as though to a complete ignoramus: I can't, it's on the inside.
Me: But where on the inside?
Sasha: Here! *points down mouth*
Me: ...
When I moved to New York, it was with the understanding that the winters on Long Island tend to the wet and mild, not so much with the ice and snow that never melt sort of thing.
This morning, when I went outside, it was 13 degrees. My car was covered in a layer of snow with a crunchy ice shell beneath it. My car doors crackled as they opened (which I had to struggle to do) because they'd been frozen shut.
This is not New York weather. This is Michigan weather, that I very specifically moved to escape! This should be against the law. It's clearly in violation of an understood contract between myself and Mother Nature. I am so talking to my lawyer about this. Also I am making plans to winter at my mom's house in THailand from now on. Nobody will mind, right?
Interestingly enough, Sasha remembered about how Mommy has to get the snow off the car before we drive, and that we use the ice scraper to do it. All the way from last year! Without my reminding her!
SUPAH-GENIUS BABY, I'm telling you.
I've been trying very hard to keep Sasha's privacy in mind during the potty-training process, which is why you pretty much don't hear anything about it. So, under my self-imposed ethical rule, it would be wrong to tell you about how...
The other night, while Sasha was sitting on the toilet, she became impatient with the speed of biology and began shouting "POOPIE, COME OUT!" at the top of her little lungs.
No, I couldn't possibly tell you anything like that. It would be just wrong.
I know that it is traditional for little girls to have a bit of an obsession with bows from wrapping paper. I remember collecting them myself, for what purpose I do not recall. I think there were plans involving my hair.
So, OK, I can understand that Sasha is collecting all of the bows from her Chanukkah presents, really it's only normal.
But why, oh, WHY is she then putting them into the refrigerator?
My kitchen is: DELICIOUS.
They say that you enjoy the holidays more when you are a parent, because it's more joyful to give to those you love than it is to receive gifts yourself. This is totally true.
It is absolutely the best feeling in the world to give a present to your own child. And it is totally all because of the Joy of Giving.
It has nothing, NOTHING at all to do with the precious tens of minutes each new toy gains mommy and daddy for playing sweet, sweet MSN Zone games. Seriously. Nothing to do with it. All about the love and the giving. Yep.
My kitchen is: Mostly shiny but more than one load of dishes to be done (we had an honored guest for dinner tonight, and it was absolutely lovely.)
I know I'm a little late on the Thanksgiving, but late is better than never, right? Anyway, I have two big things on my thankful list this year I thought I'd particularly share.
The first one is this: we have a kind of family medical situation going on right now. As is the way of these things, this scare has led me to evaluate how much I admire and try to emulate this person in my everyday life. We think everyone will be OK, but I still wanted to put in the shout out. Love and kisses from us to you, you know who you are, and I'm really glad to have you around.
The second one is less anonymous, and way more upbeat. I am thankful for my new sister-in-law, SUE! SUE I LOVE YOU! For all of you who do not know her, Sue is awesome. She is funny and nice and also not in any way psychotic, a trait I have found desirable in my family members. I have these weird daydreamy fantasies about being the kind of sisters-in-law that, like, talk on the phone all the time and trade recipes and cuttings from plants, and, like, other, um, stuff like that.
This is very likely due to the shocking lack of sisters in my life, and although I have an informal sisterly relationship going with Michelle, well, some people actually have, like, multiple REAL sisters, right? So I can have a couple of pretend ones?
Anyway, it's all a dream world, because I don't actually talk to people on the phone and I kill all houseplants that are not African violets. Also Sue lives FAR AWAY. And also she has probably been scared off by my creepy Internet enthusiasm.
I am, of course, continuing my thankfulness for the friends and family, for everyone I love and who love me, for having food to eat and a place to live, for better living through chemistry, better living through TCP/IP, and just generally for being one of the most privileged people in one of the most privileged societies in all of human history. I'm living a good life, and I hope I can do something to deserve it all someday.
My kitchen is: overplanted. I went on a houseplant-purchasing rampage a few weeks back, and need to find better places to keep some than on my kitchen counters.